Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
