also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
