Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
