In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
