Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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