I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
