awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
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his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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