If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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