well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm getting married
To pizza
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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