ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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