She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
