Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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