He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
