he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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