ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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