I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
