She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
