He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's official drugs can't kill me
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
