Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
