Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I lost the right to judge tonight
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