im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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