just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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