Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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