the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I could make wine with my vomit
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
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i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
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That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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