I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
