thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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