Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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