just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just invented taco cereal.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize