adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize