just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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