Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She just used a chaser for red wine.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
