Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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