Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
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Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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