is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
