Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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