gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
