Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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