i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
