so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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