So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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