Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
