Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
