in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
