billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
