ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
