I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
