hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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