Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
