hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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