Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
