I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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