Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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