its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
