I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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