Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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