You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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