New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
