i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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